I Kan't SpellGood for the Heart Cathartic being never writing. Cathartic screaming in the alley of God's ears. All of the things that make life hard evaporate to make life clean. In the depth of your gut - where the knots tie and the acid builds there is your fortitude. When you get hit - you should get up. When you get up - you should hit back. When you hit back - you should win. When you win - you should be gracious and humble. Clarity escapes even the most focused of agendas only to be muddled in the variables that no one can foresee. Gambling teaches you so much about what you can't count on. People change. Families change. Jobs change. Feelings change. Hairlines change. Somewhere in your gut is the Jesus and the Chomsky and the Bukowski you've always wanted to let fly. Somewhere in your eyes is the idea that we could be great. Somewhere in reality is the leash. Cathartic puffs of destiny. Cathartic rationalization and excuses. Just cathartic bull shit. Chapter 14 - Music Makes Me Cry When I think I can reach something and yet can't attain it - whether it be some sort of emotion, or reasoning - I get sad. I get sad when I can't express myself in any special way. As if there is nothing special about me any more. I think this is some animalistic base level emotion that has caused me a ton of heartache over the years. It's almost as though you toss permanently in a boat without port. Often I feel very alone and unsure of myself and this causes so many poor choices. Music has always been a very calming constant in that book of void. Music and lyrics especially have been there to explain to me that there is silence and peace inside of you. There is something beautiful that you can attain and be a part of. There is nothing exclusive about music, art, or knowledge. If you want to grab at a golden ring it is there - if you want to feel and understand - it is there. And there is no definition for your appreciation. There is just the joy that it brings you. I think the times that I have always been happiest in my life - are the times when I was listening to or celebrating with music. I have treated this gift in different ways but it's always been there in some sort of under-current. It's there to heighten the joy and soften the sad. I've been writing this chapter for a long time and have stopped it and started several times over - it wasn't until last night - and seeing Jackson Browne and being there in everything that it came back to me a little bit. I knew I was a fraud in many ways. I knew I was a pillar in others. I guess the key is to feel comfortable in all of your states and work towards a sense of pride within you. Somehow, and I don't know how... but music has been that constant barometer of truth for me. I can honestly say that music has been God's greatest gift and the one true miracle to my life. Kindle Love in front of fire, Nothing, but to admire. Time in all stands still. Joy clasped with God's Will. In a house with love You are home. Get Your Big Brother On Speed Cameras in baltimore - what a sick fucking joke. I really hate America most days. It's a shameful state of affairs to be levied tax by electronics... I can't wait until people just start smashing these. If I knew where they were - I would smash them... 1 33rd Street EB @ The Alameda 2 The Alameda SB @ 33rd Street 3 Caton Ave NB @ Benson Avenue 4 Caton Ave SB @ Benson Avenue 5 Liberty Heights Avenue EB @ Hillsdale Road 6 Liberty Heights Avenue WB @ Hillsdale Road 7 Harford Road NB @ The Alameda 8 Edmondson Avenue EB @ Cooks Ln 9 Edmondson Avenue EB @ Woodridge Road 10 Edmondson Avenue WB @ Woodridge Road 11 Frederick Avenue EB @ Catherine Street 12 Harford Road NB @ Christopher Avenue 13 MLK Jr Boulevard SB @ Pratt Street 14 Franklin Street WB @ Pulaski 15 Harford Road NB @ Rosalie Avenue 16 Walther Avenue NB @ Glenmore Avenue 17 Wilkens Avenue EB @ Desoto Road 18 Cold Spring Lane WB @ Hillen Rd 19 Cold Spring Lane WB @ Loch Raven Boulevard 20 Sinclair Lane WB @ Moravia Road 21 Sinclair Lane EB @ Shannon Drive 22 Sinclair Lane WB @ Shannon Drive 23 Orleans Street EB @ Linwood Street 24 Eastern Avenue EB @ Kane Street 25 Hillen Road SB @ Argonne Drive 26 Liberty Heights Avenue NB @ Dukeland Street 27 North Avenue WB @ Howard Street 28 Northern Parkway WB @ Springlake Way 29 Northern Parkway WB @ Waverly Way 30 Northern Parkway EB @ Greenspring Ave 31 Northern Parkway WB @ Greenspring Ave 32 Charles Street SB @ Lake Avenue 33 Reisterstown Road SB @ Fallstaff Road 34 Cold Spring Lane EB @ Tamarind Rd 35 Wilkens Avenue EB @ Pine Heights Avenue 36 Erdman Avenue EB @ Macon Street 37 Erdman Avenue WB @ Macon Street 38 Madison Street WB @ Caroline Street 39 Franklin Street WB @ Cathedral Street 40 Orleans Street EB @ Gay Street 41 Park Heights Avenue NB @ Violet Avenue 42 Patapsco Avenue WB @ 4th Street 43 Perring Parkway SB @ Belvedere Avenue 44 Pulaski Highway EB @ Monument Street 45 Northern Parkway WB @ Park Heights 46 Park Heights Avenue NB @ Hayward Avenue 47 Park Heights Avenue SB @ Hayward Avenue 48 Cold Spring Lane EB @ Roland Avenue 49 MLK Jr Boulevard NB @ Washington 50 Lombard Street WB @ Gay Street 51 Harford Road SB @ Walther Avenue | Other People's Stuff I Read Tim Boucher Douglas Atwell Mike Oliver Teri Erin Favorites List Pandora Song List Amazon Wish List Reading Revolutionary Wealth - Tofflers Brian Jones Things Making Me Smile The City Newness Listening - [out of 5] Benjy Ferree - 4.8 The Thermals 3.1 David Gray 3.8 Quote(S) Like the guy with the beard? YES - like the guy with the beers. What? Yep Bands That I Check Schedules For Badly Drawn Boy Belle and Sebastian Benjy Ferree The Black Keys Deerhoof Drive By Truckers The Eels Enon Kimya Dawson Mark Hopkins Band Oasis Iron and Wine Mates of State Ted Leo Travis Two if By Sea Ween Places I Rock in the Flesh 9:30 Club Black Cat Electric Factory Fletcher's 8x10 The Knitting Factory The Otto Bar Recher Theatre Sonar Places I Eat/Drink in the Flesh Aldo's Bishop's Collar Boccacio's Cross Street Market Hull Street Joun Gak Mick O'Shea's No Way Jose Porter's The Irish Pub Turner's The Waterfront Hotel My Greatest Hits (that's so lame) The time I almost killed a child July 4th in Korea Excerpts from Demian Why I screen phone calls Bret's Death Metal Report A conversation at a cocktail party A conversation at breakfast So you think you are a Baltimorian A conversation about a girl singer Observations from a bar Observations of strippers Tech Language Why I love Oasis I would go to war "You Son of a Bitch" An Open Letter to Tom Friend Dance to Your Ocean Dream Ranch When men become pussies Jason Whitlock is a racist propaganda promoter Pitchfork takes music snobbery to new level The Cosmic Clash of the Red Sox and Cubs The Hatred that is Runts Candy Starting corporate line-up Google Bio Do you know me? List 1 / List 2 / List 3 The Night I Burned Philly Down So You Want to be a Booze Hound She Said it was Free Funniest Corporate Story Ever Striped Shirts and the Fucks that Wear Them Death Peddle NEW!!! Pieces of Morning Oasis Album Revew The Art of Tipping Starting Fires With Grass Stains Bret's Federal Hill Food Review Sexcapades and your Picture on the Internet Stupid Secrets Stupid Secrets the Return Contact Me Stuff I Swing By From Time to Time - MUSIC Donewaiting.com hive3.com Indie Video Archive Large Hearted Boy Important Records Oasis News Pitch Fork Media Reptilian Records Scenestars MP3 Blogs Sound Garden Baltimore - BUY Aloud.com Pre-Shrunk Shotgun Apparel Warrior Clothing - HUMOR Angry Little Girls Atom Films Eye Envision Homestar Runner Kill Frog Junior Varsity Meat Market - PERSONAL Baltimore City Paper The Baltimore Sun Calvert Hall Degroen's Brewers ESL Cafe Fantasy Sports Korean Herald Villa Julie College Baseball W3 Schools Archives 06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009 10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010 |
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